Not 'But"...'And"

I am not a self proclaimed feminist AND as a woman, I am just fed up. See how I did that there? Added 'and' as opposed to 'But'. As a RN, I intuited that it would not be safe to send my children to school this fall and began making preparations to reduce my hours and work part time in order to be home to assist with virtual learning. I love my children and the additional stress of being a quasi stay at home mom and career woman has pushed me ahead of the 5 o clock cocktail hour on numerous occasions. I have seen how in these past months I have gone from superwoman with a full time job helping people during a pandemic to a terrible chef, housekeeper, and teacher. My efforts and the appreciation of those efforts have declined faster than the rate of Syphilis with the advent of antibiotics! And I ask myself why. As a Christian woman (please withhold your scoffing until I complete the thought), I believe there is fulfillment in serving my husband and my family AND simultaneously I am struggling with the unpaid work I do everyday being virtually ignored by the very ones whom I humble myself for. Will there ever be a time when a woman's work at home is held in as high esteem as the work my husband does outside of the home? And since when has keeping a steady job become the essential deciding factor of whether you have a good man or not? Keeping employment to provide for the winners of your sperm race seems like a no brainer. However how often have we women heard "I can't...I'm too tired...I worked today" when asked to assist with 1 household item? My teenager is a full blown rage against the machine social justice warrior AND continues to struggle with the tasks that she expects to be done by her father (work) and her mother (everything else). Disgusted with the lack of my daughters recognizing the sheer depth of responsibility I carry, I have taken it upon myself to point out the things I do for them  EVERY SINGLE DAY!. After reminding them to do chores I let them know that a personal assistant is paid to offer reminders. When they ask about their Father's day at work, I offer that my day at home with them has been stressful/rewarding due to xyz. Bitch move...perhaps yet something has to give. Will I change the world with these interjections? Maybe not; yet I refuse to have my efforts be rendered expected and unworthy of gratitude by the very female children who will more than likely experience the same lack of gratitude or appreciation by their spouses and children. Since the beginning of the pandemic, the subsequent loss of jobs AND women being expected to take the lead with teaching at home, there are very few of us who have the luxury to just hire help or even rant (like myself ) against the "working dads" because some bastards left the load all to the woman. We women have always held it down at home AND at work. Modern families need a 2 income household to even stay afloat financially AND the women of those households are being expected to add another brick on their back(teaching) while doing the countless others thankless jobs that only women seem to be "fit" to do.   I am a Christian woman AND a believer in equality between the sexes. I am a career woman AND a semi stay at home mom. I am living in these fucked up times AND I am just tired.