I recently watched Black Panther (again) and was taken with the scene where the warrior turns her spear on the love of her life and informs him that the nation of Wakonda was more important than their love. As a woman of color, this speaks volumes to how we navigate our multitude of roles and how those roles can conflict with romantic relationships. Coming from a large family with the woman being the figurative "head", my question to myself today was at what point do we sacrifice Wakonda-the culmination of life experiences and support systems that are thriving-for love?
In the "traditional family, the man is the head of the household yet we women know that our role is vital; for without our strength, our men may stumble and the family fails. The rampant trend of our men not staying with the family unit has enabled women of color to do just fine without them. As a married woman I ask myself if I would have turned my spear on my husband for Wakonda?
Family dynamics are as varied as the elements of this earth and just as some of those elements attract, others when combined can create a cataclysm. Is it possible, as a strong woman, to be wholly united with a strong man and create a new nation? What if she had joined him by his side and they ruled Wakonda and changed the world?
Family conflict is a major source of stress within my marriage. My husband gets angered when he see me hurting. He believes that I do too much. But on the flip side, my family believes that I can do so much more to contribute to the stability of the whole. It may seem foreign to some readers that the two concepts are in opposition of each other but hell, that's just how it is sometimes. I have a man who is willing to sacrifice; to love me and support me as I pursue my wildest dreams. Yet I have a family, who also gives me that love and support. Although the words are the same the reality is not. Is it the fate of the woman to constantly have to choose? Choose between a vibrant love and a legacy of women who have sustained themselves quite well without the male that provides it? I currently hold the spear and am asking myself what would I do for Wakonda?
I have a B.A. in Political Science, an A.D. in Nursing and a keen interest in writing about the whole person